It seems to be a bit late to be writing this, considering that I turned 29 way back in May. As I write this, I am closer to 29.33 rather than 29.
It’s an odd number, this 29. For one, its prime. And it’s just one less than 30, a round figure. The age of 29 feels like the end of youth. A twenty-something is so much younger and energetic and carefree than a thirty-something. It feels like the last days before responsibility, complete and absolute will sit heavy on my shoulders. My twenties were my decade of freedom and frustration; of triumph and failure; of heady highs and dreary lows. In my twenties, I turned from boy to man.
I have grown too. In height, half an inch perhaps; in weight, a full ten kilos! And my athletic ability peaked when I was 25. Now, I struggle to run the six kilometers that I finally managed to run with ease in my last term in Goa. But then, I finally realised my boyhood dream of learning martial arts. Not that I am very good at it, but to be able to live out a boyhood dream…that’s something. My hairline marches resolutely backwards, my tummy, steadily forward. I started twenty embarrassed that the hair on my head hid one or two strands of grey. Now, I observe the few greys in my stubble with nonchalance. Pimples are gone; the first light furrows of wrinkles and crow’s feet lend gravitas to my emotions now. Not that I feel much nowadays. The anger and the desperation that was has changed into a deeper, quieter fury and a resolve. On trips to faraway lands in unreserved train compartments, feeling the sun and the breeze on my face, I was happy and laughed the laughter of youth; the laughter of a man who has everything he wants. Now, as I ride my own bike to far-away places and exotic restaurants, I am happy, and smile the nirvanic smile of a man who needs nothing more. The smile of little dreams lived out.
Eight more months to go before 30. A long time to go, as the moments march; a short time, as the days fly. I don’t know how much things will change, and what will remain the same. but then, it will be a new decade. I hope it will be as interesting as this one was.
