It seems to be a bit late to be writing this, considering that I turned 29 way back in May. As I write this, I am closer to 29.33 rather than 29.
It’s an odd number, this 29. For one, its prime. And it’s just one less than 30, a round figure. The age of 29 feels like the end of youth. A twenty-something is so much younger and energetic and carefree than a thirty-something. It feels like the last days before responsibility, complete and absolute will sit heavy on my shoulders. My twenties were my decade of freedom and frustration; of triumph and failure; of heady highs and dreary lows. In my twenties, I turned from boy to man.
I have grown too. In height, half an inch perhaps; in weight, a full ten kilos! And my athletic ability peaked when I was 25. Now, I struggle to run the six kilometers that I finally managed to run with ease in my last term in Goa. But then, I finally realised my boyhood dream of learning martial arts. Not that I am very good at it, but to be able to live out a boyhood dream…that’s something. My hairline marches resolutely backwards, my tummy, steadily forward. I started twenty embarrassed that the hair on my head hid one or two strands of grey. Now, I observe the few greys in my stubble with nonchalance. Pimples are gone; the first light furrows of wrinkles and crow’s feet lend gravitas to my emotions now. Not that I feel much nowadays. The anger and the desperation that was has changed into a deeper, quieter fury and a resolve. On trips to faraway lands in unreserved train compartments, feeling the sun and the breeze on my face, I was happy and laughed the laughter of youth; the laughter of a man who has everything he wants. Now, as I ride my own bike to far-away places and exotic restaurants, I am happy, and smile the nirvanic smile of a man who needs nothing more. The smile of little dreams lived out.
Eight more months to go before 30. A long time to go, as the moments march; a short time, as the days fly. I don’t know how much things will change, and what will remain the same. but then, it will be a new decade. I hope it will be as interesting as this one was.
September 13, 2011 at 1:16 pm
hmmm looks like we see a full man is in the making! Am reminded of Ruskin Bond’s poem when he turned 30 in the early or mid 1960′s where he mentions of how he feels on being top of the world in his 20′s and the manner it peaked and almost came a circle. Perhaps if you get to lay your hands on it, its well worth a read.
September 17, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Beautiful and graceful narration of the changes one experiences with the age…..
October 5, 2011 at 1:27 pm
Nice one Sachin. I guess we all have these moments of retrospection while crossing over to that magical number 30. For some, looking back at teens and the years gone would bring a smile and for some then awakens that vengeance to do those crazy different things they havent done so far. Life,but, just gets prettier and interesting when you actually come to this side, wait and watch:)